If you're anything like me, making friends is a challenge. Especially if you're new to an area or you've lost contact with the people in your past, it's a daunting prospect. You weren't taught how to make friends as an adult. So, it's normal to feel paralyzed.

But there are many benefits to getting out of your comfort zone and making new friends. You'll experience a new rush of confidence and have people to help you along your journey in life. Especially when you're dating in the modern era, having someone to bounce your dating profile off of. A person to help you take pictures and amp you up for your dates. These are all keys to dating success.

If you're unsure how to make new friends as an adult, let me help you!

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Why you need friends as an adult

Friends are a powerful tool and asset in your life. Whether you're single, dating, or in a relationship. Friends make you feel at home. You're welcomed, you can take up space, and be accepted for who you are.

They're people to call after a shit day, people you can lean on in times of need, and people to have fun with. There are countless benefits to spending time developing a few critical relationships.

• Confidence boosting - A good friend should always gas you up and help you feel better about yourself. They're there to help cheer you on and make better life decisions. They comment "YAS QUEEN" on your new selfie and notice when you've got a fabulous manicure. Having people around who believe in you will help you feel more confident in yourself.
  

• People to lean on - One of the best parts of having adult friends is you can call them for a glass of wine after a shitty day. Maybe they're in Zoom or in your neighborhood. Whatever it is, they're there for you. You can ask for a platform to bitch and whine. And they'll give you space to externalize what you're going through. They're there for your heartbreaks, your man-hunting, whatever it is. They're ready to cheer you on. 
  

• Someone to try new things with - You've been dying to take a pottery class but don't want to go alone. Enter your new friend. Maybe they're not particularly interested in pottery. But, you can offer to try something they're interested in this week. A bit of a tit-for-tat. You can bond and have fun trying new things. It can be daunting to do things alone. But with some adult friends in your life, you'll have a plus one to everything you've been wanting to do. 
  

• They're a sounding board - More than just offering comfort, they have opinions and thoughts, and you can ask for them. We often get so wrapped up in our thoughts and feelings that we can't see things from new angles. That's what friends are for! They can help you choose the best outfit for your date, help you select a uni course, or even decide on new dog food. Friends are there to help make your life easier.

Not all friendships are created equal. Surround yourself with like-minded and positive people. Friends that offer you a judgment-free zone to be yourself and celebrate your weirdness. They accept that your place is a disaster zone and help clean it up. You're looking for friends that want to help you grow and become a better person. They're the ones who deserve to be in your tribe.

How friends help your dating life

Your friends will be a massive asset to your dating experience. Having a friend or five to help you along this journey to your mister right will be immensely helpful. 

A few benefits of having a friend in your life while you're dating are:

• Giving you honest feedback about guys you match with or are going out with.

• Help you draft productive texts and messages.

• Give input on your wardrobe and what you wear when you're going out with someone.

• Help you take new dating profile pictures. Dating profiles always need new photos. There is no shame in asking your friend to help you take Tinder pics. That's what they're there for!

• Offer you a way out on a bad date. If you're going out with someone new, there's always a risk that they suck. When you have a reliable friend, you can send an SOS message to them. They should help you get out of an awkward experience.

• They can help you plan dates. Being the one to arrange a date is hard. Luckily, a good friend should have your back and a few ideas up their sleeve. 

• They're a built-in wing woman. A great friend will always be ready to act as your wing woman. They'll help you meet and mingle with new guys, introduce you to cute friends, and make introductions easy. 

Far from holding you back, the right friend should lift you up on your dating journey. A high-quality friend is worth twice their weight in gold when you're man-hunting.

Places to make new friends

When we're young, friendships are basically built into our life.

You're pushed into sports teams, and taking classes. You have many opportunities to develop over shared experiences.

But when you're grown and moving to new places, trying new things, it isn't as easy to find new friends. 

Here are a few ideas for you to make new friends as an adult:

• Bumble/Tinder for friends - Sure, there will always be lurking creeps. But, you can meet a few quality people in your area to hang with! It makes it easy to meet new people who also want new friends; you know why they're there. 

• Facebook groups - Facebook is teeming with groups. There are heaps of adult-friend-finder Facebook groups out there. You can attend an event or post about yourself in the group. Most of these groups are full of women looking for new friends who are too afraid to post about themselves. Don't be shy and make an introduction!
  

• Join a club - There are always options for this. Maybe a Hashing group, a book club, or anything that interests you. But make sure you commit and really do your best in these clubs. No one wants to be friends with the slacker in the class!
  

• Exercise classes - Whether you're into yoga, love cycling, or want to learn how to power-lift, exercise classes are a great option to find other fitness enthusiasts. The bonus part is you know when they're free!

• Skill-based classes - You could sign up for a community college class, learn how to make pottery, or whatever floats your boat. Whatever course you land on, make it something you're genuinely interested in. That way, you have something easy to discuss with your classmates, so you can make quick bonds!

  
  

When looking for a new place to make friends, evaluate the things you're interested in.

If you can find common ground with a new friend, it can help conversations flow easily.

Not only that, but you have built-in hang-out ideas that go along with hobby-based meetups!

How to keep a conversation going

If you've gotten far enough into a conversation that you're thinking of meeting up, your nerves may kick in.

What will you talk about?

What if things get boring?

What do you even like doing?

Don't worry. Your new friend is likely worrying about the same things. Spend a little time thinking about things you like to do and have some easy conversation topics saved on your phone. 

Some easy ways to keep a conversation going with a new friend are:

What's your story? 

This simple question is often a struggle for people. Tell them to start wherever they feel like it and include as much or as little as they'd like. You never know how interesting a person is until you ask!

What passion projects are you working on?

People are almost always working on something outside their work life. It could be that they're working on redoing their bedroom, cleaning out the garage, or they're working on a new business. People love talking about themselves, so keep asking!

What are your favorite things in (area)?

Whether it's where you're meeting up or near where they live, ask them about their recommendations. It's a bonus because you get new insight into places you likely haven't been already! 

Did you read __?

Choose something you've read or want to read. That way it can be an easy, full-blown conversation, like Harry Potter or something else famous. Finding common ground and how that book may have influenced their life could be fascinating. 

What have you been watching lately?

Pretty much everyone has some sort of subscription service at this point. Figure out what they've been binge-watching and if they have any recommendations for you! Odds are you've both watched the same thing at some point. 

Hey, have you ever done — before?

People are full of surprising knowledge. So, if you're working on something you need help with, or want to learn something new, they may be able to help you! If they have any expertise you want to learn, talk about a great bonding experience!

Conversations don't have to be daunting. Just have a few things in your back pocket if you get nervous and don't know what to say. 

Tribes and dating coaching

In dating coaching, we talk about having a tribe all the time. Making friends as an adult doesn't have to be complicated. And it's not a condition for entering dating coaching. But it is something I strongly recommend.

Having a group of strong women behind you chanting you on and supporting you will help you boost your confidence. They'll be there to support you in downtimes and in good times. 

If you don't have a tribe yet, I'll help you get the confidence to find one. We'll work together to make a solid plan for where you'll meet new friends and how to approach them. That way, you're getting new relationships on all sides. This makes it easier for you to date and keep conversations flowing. 

There's no downside to finding a tribe, so long as you choose quality over quantity. You'll be all good. 

When you're ready to improve your love life and life in general, I've got your back. Just inquire today, so we can get started.

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”

— Oprah Winfrey

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