If you've spent time on a porn site recently, you likely noticed the insanely long lists of porn categories. Why are there so many? How many people are searching for those niche kinks and fetishes? As life goes on, you'll find that everyone has a kink - but no one is talking about them. That's why we've made this list of common kinks, so you know that you're not alone in what you're into. There is a community out there for everyone - you just haven't found yours quite yet!

We live in a beautiful and kinky world full of surprises and new things to learn. If you're wondering if your kink is normal, here at Sex With Elaine, I know that everyone's kink is healthy. So long as everyone participating is consenting, of course. Celebrate who you are and bring your kink into your identity to live a fuller, happier life.

All products recommended are personally selected by me, Elaine S. Turner. I choose them and genuinely believe in them. However, this article may contain affiliate links. That means if you use that link to buy a product, I may earn a small affiliate commission, or tip, as I like to see it. You can learn more here if you have any questions about my affiliate policy.

What is a kink?

A kink is defined by the fact that it involves "non-normative" or "socially abnormal" sexual practices.

Things that the average person at Starbucks might be surprised are involved in your sex life.

Therefore, whether your kink is "weird" depends heavily on where you are and who is around you. 

That being said, there are plenty of places in the world with sexual practices that are demonized somewhere else.

Think about it.

There are plenty of places where sodomy is illegal - if you ask me, anal sex is pretty vanilla!

Again, it's all about the perspective of what is normal and what's not.

Kink vs. fetish - what's the difference?

A kink brings you sexual pleasure or arouses you, but you don't need it to get off.

A fetish is where you need something to get complete sexual satisfaction.

People often use the terms interchangeably when discussing these topics, but they're separate. 

Then there's the concept of paraphilia. A paraphilia is an actual diagnosable (by DSM standards) sexual concern often involves a non-consenting partner or object. Paraphilias are what give kink a lousy taste in vanilla people's mouths. Most people believe kinks are like a gateway drug leading to later paraphilias. 

In reality, kinks are perfectly healthy. Everyone involved participates because they want it, and it brings them sexual excitement and pleasure. 

List of common kinks

Conducting a study of non-normative sex practices can be even more challenging than it sounds. Often, samples are contaminated by observers targeting specific kink communities or dishonest participants. 

What about porn searches?

Just because you masturbate to it doesn't mean you actually want to do it. Those two things can be completely separate practices.

These are some of the world's most common kinks based on my lived experience.

BDSM & Domination and submission

You've likely read our entire BDSM 101 piece and know tons about that area already.

Within BDSM, there are countless versions of what is sexy to different groups of people.

Some people are more aroused by impact play, others sensory deprivation. Meanwhile, some people are just dying to see their sexual partner restrained in a cage.

BDSM and all aspects of bondage and Domination, Domination and submission, sadism and masochism vary widely - and thus is at the top of the list.

Foot fetishes

These are often actual fetishes and not just kinks.

Having a foot fetish is where you either: 

1. Get sexual arousal from seeing or touching feet - even to the point of orgasm.

2. Those who are turned on and get sexual pleasure from the feeling and look of feet. 

Footjobs have even become a popular alternative to handjobs for many people!

Dogging

The dogging category seems to be blowing up all over the internet!

Dogging it when you engage in often anonymous sex in a public place with people watching.

Or you're watching two strangers have sex in a public place.

Look at that PornHub category and see how popular dogging is at truck stops and public parks. 

Cock and ball torture (CBT) 

Cock and ball torture is a much broader category than you likely realize.

Causing pain and discomfort to someone's penis and/or testicles seems to be a massive area of sexual pleasure.

Cock cages, keyholders, and urethral sounds are all the rage in most sex stores.

These activities can range from erection and orgasm deprivation to stepping on someone's balls with stilettos. 

Voyeurism & exhibitionism

Voyeurism is when you get sexual gratification from watching someone else, usually while they're sexually pleasured.

Exhibitionism is when you get off on people watching your experience - generally while you're receiving sexual pleasure.

These are still classified by the DSM as paraphilias, even though they're some of the most common kinks you'll come across.

These are often a central tenet of pretty much every flavor of kink. 

Golden showers & watersports

Golden showers are often joked about because who gets aroused by pee?

It turns out a lot of people do!

Water sports and golden showers are terms often used interchangeably.

They both explain getting sexual arousal and gratification from either peeing on someone or being peed on.

Whether that's on your body or mouth is totally up to you!

Age play

This can go either way, older or younger.

Age play is such a colossal type of kink. It's hard to know where to start!

Some people dress up like actual babies, diapers and all.

Meanwhile, others want a hot GILF to sit on their face.

Whatever it is, age is everything in this kink.

Cuckolding

Cuckolding is about being aroused or getting sexual pleasure by the idea of your partner having sex with someone else.

Whether that's in front of you or you like sending your wife to have sex with a stranger.

There are nearly infinite variations.

Cuckolding is more common among men, but anyone can enjoy this sexy dynamic. 

Consensual non-consent

This is when you're aroused by the idea of either being forced upon or forcing yourself upon someone.

Essentially rape or molestation role-play, but with a healthy and consensual twist.

Essentially, you talk with your partner ahead of time and consent to what will happen.

So say it's a kidnap fantasy. You discuss the act of being blindfolded, restrained, and yelling "no" and "get off me" when you are getting pleasure from the experience.

That's why you have a safe word after all! 

Praise

Who doesn't get a little excited from compliments? 

A praise kink is where you get sexual gratification from being called a "good slut” or anything like that.

It could also be about how good you are at taking dick. Whatever it is, you get off on either giving the praise or receiving it.

Some people can experience orgasms from being complimented just by itself! 

Is my kink normal?

At Sex With Elaine, I believe that all kinks are beautiful and unique representations of who you are.

They're part of your identity. They deserve to be explored and celebrated just as much as your sexual orientation! 

Kink can be a challenging thing to incorporate into your life. If you want help, contact me today!

“Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time.”

— Unknown

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