What is Pleasure Mapping? Unlock the secrets of your erotic identity
Answering the questions "what do you like?" and "what turns you on?" may sound sexy, simple, and straightforward. And to some people, they may be. But deeper desires and new erogenous zones lie all over your body, waiting to be tapped into and discovered. Whether it's the touch of a hand, the crack of a whip, or the vibrations of a sex toy, you'll only find out if you try.
Pleasure mapping the body is a process of identifying new types of touch and erogenous zones. This is done to enhance your erotic pleasure. It is best done in an ongoing manner. It involves curiosity, experimentation, and a few supplies.
When you're ready to start having the best sex possible, formulate a plan for your pleasure mapping adventure.
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What is physical pleasure mapping?
Physical mapping is about an understanding of what feels good to you. You can think of it as trying new foods. You may love sautéed onions on a beef burger, but not on a chicken burger.
So you like sautéed onions, just not all the time.
How would you figure that out?
By experimenting, of course!
And if someone asked if you liked sautéed onions, you'd be able to say you do, just not in a certain way.
Pleasure mapping gives you the tools and experiences to share those feelings and opinions with your partner!
For many people, you can't answer "what turns you on?" That is because you've never taken the time to be curious about your turn-ons. Usually, people are indoctrinated into a sex-negative culture. You may be unaware of it until you've opened yourself to erotic pleasure.
Doing this is not a small feat.
So take your time, and savor the journey! Discovering your sexuality should be a fun, pleasurable, and lifelong adventure!
You can also try pleasure mapping with your genitals, of course. However, this type of pleasure mapping is a whole different experience.
At Sex With Elaine, I prefer see your whole body as an erogenous zone before turning toward your genitals.
Why should you try pleasure mapping?
You should try pleasure mapping because it's fun and sexy. But it's a lot more than that. It is an educational experience that will forever alter your sex life. It can awaken and shake up your sensual experience by doing it annually. You can do it with a partner, alone, or with a group of people!
There are a ton of benefits to trying pleasure mapping:
Answer the question "what turns you on" with confidence
If you try pleasure mapping by yourself, you'll be able to tell future partners exactly what you enjoy. Doing this will consistently enhance your sexual experiences making for a more fulfilling sex life.
Become more confident
When you know what brings you pleasure and arouses you, you'll become more settled in your sexual identity. Being more confident in who you are and what you enjoy will help you communicate better with sexual partners.
Feel inspired
Trying pleasure mapping even once can help open the doors to other types of sexual experimentation. Sometimes, you need someone to open the door, and you'll feel ready to walk through it.
Have more orgasms
Plain and simple, most people want to have more orgasms. Mapping your erotic body means that you'll know the equations that get you where you want to go.
You'll enjoy countless other benefits after you try pleasure mapping your body.
Who is pleasure mapping for?
Pleasure mapping can be done by yourself, with a partner, or with a group of people that you're comfortable with.
Each context will have various benefits, so it is up to you.
Why try pleasure mapping alone
The benefit of doing it alone is that you can feel comfortable and be authentic. Free from fear of being judged or having to provide feedback, you may find that your experimentation lasts for hours. The downside of doing it alone is that you can only do so much at one time in a day. You also may not have access to the variety of tools you may want.
Why try pleasure mapping with a partner
Pleasure mapping with a partner is that you can be completely focused on your body. You can put on a blindfold. This will help you enjoy the physical sensations in isolation and give up complete control to your partner. This ability to relax may lead you to be more open to new feelings that you weren't previously. The downside of doing pleasure mapping with a partner is that you're not in control. You'll have to explain to them exactly what you want more or less of and hope they remember.
Why try pleasure mapping in a group
If you want to try pleasure mapping in a group, odds are you'll have countless tools at your disposal to choose from. Giving up control and letting others play with your body may excite you. On the other hand, it may be your worst nightmare. If you want to try pleasure mapping in a group, make sure you entirely trust everyone participating.
Pleasure mapping is ideal for:
While pleasure mapping can be beneficial to everyone, it is assigned to many people for very specific reasons.
Low or no sexual desire -
It provides the environment to learn about your erotic body safely and with patience. Doing this can relieve you from the pressure or stress to have an orgasm or experience desire before play.
Anorgasmic people or those struggle to experience orgasms-
Pleasure mapping may be the key to learning your orgasmic equation.
Sexless relationships -
Pleasure mapping often does not involve the genitals. Instead, it is about using the whole body as a canvas. Reacquaint yourself with an erotic touch from your partner. It may be the key to bringing the sex back into your relationship.
Sexually inexperienced, "virgins," and those with a fear of physical intimacy -
Practicing pleasure mapping by yourself means that you get to learn about yourself at your own pace. It means that you can tell your future partners what you desire. You'll be able to show them how to provide it without the pressure to decide if you enjoy it at the moment.
Contextual or responsive desire -
The vast majority of people either need to be in a context that is erotic or be touched sensually. Then, and only then, can they feel desire to then feel sexual desire. Pleasure mapping will help you unlock those areas.
People who struggle with getting or maintaining erections -
Whether you're experimenting alone or with a partner, you may be stuck in your head. Being stuck in your head inhibits your erectile abilities and strength. You'll start to see sex as an intimate activity and play. The pressure to have an erection will ease as you learn about the other erogenous zones in your body.
Pleasure mapping will help anyone ready to go on an erotic adventure with their bodies.
Are you ready?
How can I try pleasure mapping?
You can think of pleasure mapping as a sexual scientific experiment. You'll need to collect data, analyze, and apply it. It also means that you should collect your data from various experiments. Sigh! More work!
Remember, the only goal of pleasure mapping is to find out what parts of your body enjoy which sensations.
Overall, pleasure mapping is simple:
1.Set the scene
As we always recommend, take care of your environment. Clean things up, put on some sultry tunes, turn down the lights, whatever turns you on. Make sure that you're physically invested in your erotic educational experience. Spending a whole day on a date with yourself first can help.
2. Choose your tools
Generally, sensory deprivation is going to heighten the experience. Putting on a blindfold and pushing in some earplugs can help you focus on your body. You may also want tools to play with, such as feathers, a vibrator, a back massager, different fabrics. The world is your erotic playground! You may also find that taking notes is helpful for you.
3. Get in the mood
If you're playing with a group or with a partner, take some solo time first and get yourself focused on your body. Mindfulness meditation is typically the easiest way to do this. Spend a few minutes focused on your breath and attuned to your physical experience.
4. Start mapping!
Get comfortable and start experimenting with different areas of your body. You can try a vibrator on your earlobe, a feather under your chin, whatever you feel like! Take note of the things that feel good and focus on those. Use the pleasure mapping tool to help you keep track. Take your time. This exercise will last at least an hour if you're comfortable.
Pleasure mapping tips
Pleasure mapping is an endless expanse of opportunity and creativity. Don't limit yourself to just one experience.
Try it once, then apply what you've learned
Once you've done pleasure mapping for the first time, you can start to incorporate those discoveries into your sex life! See if different contexts impact how those sensations make you feel.
It's about more than objects
Again, creativity is essential here! You don't need a dozen tools to get started. Focus on the classics first, like pressure, friction, pattern, angles, and speed.
Create your own rating system
The classic system would be out of five stars or ten points. How good does something feel? Take notes and be curious about the sensations. If something feels like a 10 already, play around and see if you can redefine what 10 feels like to you! Choose a rating system that you'll remember and that resonates with you.
Use it mentally as well
Physical pleasure is one massive domain where you can experiment. But you can do the same with fantasy and other experiences that cause desire. You can start doing mental pleasure mapping with inspiration from erotic novels, porn, or your own mind!
It isn't a one and done kind of thing
Odds, you enjoyed very different food growing up than you do now, right? Pleasure works the same. Our preferences shift all the time. The only way to keep track of them is to map your erotic experience frequently.
Use it as a reboot
If you've recently gone through a significant life change, you may need a sexual reboot. After giving birth, an episode of depression, the death of a loved one, your body may feel differently. You never know what will change and what will need to be reawakened.
The key to remember is that this is your own experience. It is intended to be a selfish activity. You get to treat yourself and be genuinely curious about your erotic experience. So get to it!
If you want to learn more about how you can improve your sex life, the blogs here at Sex With Elaine are a great start! If you're suffering from a "dysfunction" like low sexual desire, erectile issues, or anything else, you deserve support. Get in contact with me today to find out more.
“Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.”
— Joseph Campbell
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