What is a Sex Coach? What sex coaches do and if it’s right for you
What is a sex coach? Why does this phrase keep coming up? What does a sex coach do? Basically, you want to have the best sex possible. But you don't know how. You've tried researching your sexual issues and hit a brick wall. You don't understand what sex coaching is or why a sex coach could be helpful.
Sex coaching is a new area in the coaching community. It helps serve areas of your life other coaches and medical professionals are too shy to address.
Sex coaching takes the best from sex therapy and integrates it into a coaching process. It is short-term and virtual. Sex coaching focuses on achieving your goals.
In its most basic form, the sex coaching process is as follows:
You have a sex issue or goal.
You share it with a sex coach.
The sex coach makes a plan to get you to your destination.
The sex coach assigns the client tasks to improve their sex life
The client is responsible for seeing them through.
Emotional, spiritual, sexual, and mental care are all integrated into your action plan. This integration lets you get the long-term results you want in the shortest possible time frame.
People choose to make sex and intimacy their lowest priority and set it off to the side. Or they feel as if they're hopeless and cannot experience what creates excellent sex.
***Spoiler Alert****
Everyone can experience excellent sex! It just may take a little more work and education for some than others.
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What is sex coaching?
Sex coaching is a dynamic, short-term process that helps you create your best sex life.
Working one-on-one with a personal sex coach.
You'll learn what prevents you from having the sex life you want.
With this in mind, your sex coach will help you make a realistic action plan to get you where you want to go.
Get the results you've been trying to achieve on your own by getting the most out of your sex coaching experience.
Sex coaching can be done individually, as a couple, or in any relationship style. It is a series of meetings and assignments designed for you. Each one aims to help you create your best possible sex life.
What is a sex coach?
A sex coach is a professional trained in sexual health, therapy, and coaching. A certified sex coach has had specialized training from sexual health experts and master coaches.
Technically, anyone can call themselves a sex coach. Certified sex coaches, on the other hand, have attended and completed the Sex Coach University. The first program of its kind pioneered and taught by Dr. Patti Britton.
Integrating the best from all of those fields, sex coaches pursue different experiences. Continuing education is to provide clients with the best information on modern sexuality.
A sex coach helps you see through your issues. I create an actionable solution that gets you to your goal fast. Leveraging my specialized sexual knowledge, you'll save countless embarrassing and unhelpful trips to the doctor. You'll get right to the heart of your issues.
What is a clinical sexologist?
A certified clinical sexologist has participated in academic and scientific study.
Specifically on sexual behavior, anatomy, attitude, and function.
We are trained to help address the sexual concerns.
Through assessment, education, and applied action, clinical sexologists help clients change their sex lives.
What does a sex coach do?
A lot of what a sex coach does is create space to discuss and explore who you are as a sexual person.
You can finally talk about your sexual life and experiences openly. You'll gain insight into who you are as an erotic being.
Coaching is focused on the future and who you can become. It's not about processing past trauma but creating real, lasting change.
A sex coach will create a plan of action based on your needs and goals with your full attention and openness. Then, create a step-by-step path to help you make your dreams a reality.
You'll have the support and accountability you need with regular encouragement and open conversation.
At Sex With Elaine, I use a talk-based coaching approach, which means no nudity is involved.
However, nudity and masturbation are regular aspects of your outside tasks.
But, only if you're comfortable with them.
What happens in a sex coaching session?
Sex coaching sessions offer a hybrid counseling experience and active sharing to help you achieve your goals.
During full sessions, you'll have a chance to freely speak about your concerns, experiences, and what you want to change. Your coach will help you create an action plan to lead you to your best sexual life.
These sessions are 100% judgment-free, and you are asked to come as you are. The only thing you have to guarantee is your authenticity.
After each session, you'll get an email. This email will summarize what was covered in your session and include a home assignment packet called a playbook. These playbooks are custom-designed to help you achieve your goals.
The benefits of sex coaching:
Get the most pleasure out of sex by learning how to enjoy your body and understand your desires
Know exactly where you're going with a unique set of playbooks customized to your needs
Provide better pleasure to yourself and others by increasing your sexual knowledge and understanding.
Form and maintain healthy and lasting relationships by learning healthy communication.
Be in control of your sexual functioning and learn how to overcome sexual dysfunctions.
Get what you want by learning how to express your desires and boundaries.
Manifest your best possible life quickly by having an action plan created for you
Eliminate confusion, overwhelm, and guesswork from your sex life.
Is sex coaching different from sex therapy?
Yes, sex coaching and sex therapy are different. Sex coaching focuses on who you are now and who you want to become. Coaching builds itself around your goals and desires. Sex coaching is designed to help you take action steps to get your desired results.
Sex therapy focuses on your past and helps you process it. You can heal from the inside out by working through traumatic experiences and history.
Both sex coaches and therapists can work together to help clients efficiently create the life they want. However, they are different professions suited to people at differing times in their lives.
Who needs a sex coach?
Sex coaching is for everyone and anyone willing to create change!
Everyone from the inexperienced "virgin" to the aspiring Casanova. Everyone can benefit from sex coaching. There is always more to learn and uncover.
There are a few specific coaching concerns that are exceedingly common:
Low or no sexual desire
Low, diminished, or no sexual desire is a problem for many. It's especially common in long-term relationships and marriages. It is normal for your sex drive to decrease over time, but it will likely generate conflict.
I work primarily with women struggling with low or no sexual desire. I help you see the power in your sexuality and teach you the skills you need to get your libido back.
Uneven sexual desire in relationships
When you and your partner aren't on the same page about the frequency of sex, it has become an issue. Sometimes it may culminate in a sexless relationship. The sex coaching process can help you learn the root cause of your mismatched desires and make sex fun again.
Relationship communication difficulties
Communication can be challenging, especially as time goes on. Having a coach to help facilitate that connection can save relationships. It will help you learn what you're trying to say and how to communicate healthily.
Early ejaculation or premature ejaculation
You feel out of control of your orgasmic process. Cumming too early and leaving you or your partner disappointed. As a sex coach, I know how overwhelming this can be. You can learn ejaculatory control and change your relationship with your body with just a few simple steps.
Delayed ejaculation
Delayed ejaculation manifests in two main ways. Either 1) you take too long to experience an orgasm either by yourself or with a partner. Or 2) you are unable to ejaculate with a partner, and sometimes by yourself. Getting to the root cause of delayed ejaculation on your own may be difficult. In sex coaching, I actually know what has caused your issues. I will help change your practices so that you can take control of your orgasmic experience.
Erectile difficulties or erectile dysfunction
Erections are always a hot topic. Yes, likely it's the most talked about topic in the media regarding sex. But that doesn't make it any less embarrassing or uncomfortable.
The first thing you need to know is it usually does not need to be medicated!
The sex coaching process will get to the heart of the issues that have caused your erectile challenges. You'll gain confidence and control of your sexual arousal with an effective action plan.
Desire to improve social or dating skills
You want to put yourself out there but don't know how or feel awkward. This is one of the key reasons I've integrated sex, dating, and relationship coaching together. Usually, if you have issues in one department, it leads to complications in the next.
If you're going to gain confidence and learn how to bond with other people, then sex coaching is what you need. You'll learn how to create your best life, so you can approach dating with ease and confidence.
Body image or confidence issues
Enjoying sex is challenging when you don't feel sexy. It can interfere with your pleasure, partner, and sexual desire.
Low self-esteem is one of the most common reasons sex falls to the side. Sex coaching teaches you how to be comfortable with and celebrate your body.
Preorgasmia or anorgasmia
You've never had an orgasm, or you can't experience one with a partner. This is a massive hang-up for many women who think orgasms come from penetrative sex.
This often stems from an emotional or mental block or simply improper sexual pleasure education.
Getting to the root cause can help you enjoy a more freeing and pleasurable sex life. You'll learn how to share an orgasmic experience with yourself and your partner.
Painful sex
Vaginismus or other forms of painful sex are rarely acknowledged or understood by the medical field.
It can lead to extreme distress and even relationship breakdowns. With sex coaching, you'll learn how to understand what is happening with your body and learn how to enjoy sex with time.
The desire for enhanced sexual pleasure
Sexuality is a complex field and topic to which you can devote a lifetime of study. I know. I've spent over 12 years studying worldwide to be with you today.
Researching how to get the most out of your sex life may be daunting. Sex coaching will streamline this process for you. With relevant and contemporary knowledge of sexual facts, you will have a massive advantage in your sex life.
The desire for sexuality education
There is so much you weren't taught about sex and sexuality growing up.
Not to mention that the media often puts damaging information and expectations out constantly.
You're unsure about many things in your sex life and want to learn more. One of the cornerstones of sex coaching is giving you the education you deserve but never had.
The best sex of your life starts with sex reeducation.
Desire to find and build a lasting relationship (a.k.a. dating coaching)
Single and no longer want to be? Girl, I know that feeling. Dating sucks, but it doesn't have to. Going out and finding the right guy, screening him, and not being a total mess on dates, it's a lot to ask. But don't worry, your person is out there, and I'm here to help you find them.
This is why I've integrated dating, sex, and relationship coaching together. You can't have one without the other. Dating coaching will help you become the person you've always wanted to be and get the guy you're looking for.
What is a playbook?
I know you hate homework, and so do I. But our sessions are so brief that only a fraction of growth happens there. That's why I like to give out Playbooks where I feel it is appropriate.
The majority of your growth will happen outside your sessions. Playbooks are unique sets of practical exercises to help you achieve your goals.
Your playbooks are designed and assembled just for you. You'll know what, how, and why you're doing all of these things, so you get the most out of every Playbook.
Some of these activities may be:
Gaining control over your orgasmic cycle with the pleasure scale activity.
Learn how to integrate bodily pleasure with your state of mind with mindfulness exercises.
Learn about your emotional and mental blocks with journaling exercises.
Get confidence walking into an adult toy store or sex workspace by knowing what you're looking for.
The ability to navigate conflict with your partner with guided conversation exercises.
Your playbook will be cultivated with your scheduling limits in mind. Free yourself from overwhelm and start taking real action in bite-sized pieces to create lasting results.
How to become a sex coach
As I said, technically, anyone can call themselves a sex coach.
No certifying body is overlooking the sex coaches of the world and deciding if they're good enough or not.
That's why you should be skeptical and ask questions.
When you work with me, there's no concern about my qualifications.
You can see a complete list of my current qualifications on my About Me page.
But I'll tell you a little more about my journey to becoming a sex coach.
How I became a sex coach
It all started long ago, before I even knew sex coaching was a thing. I was lost in university and just trying to find my way through. I was passionate about understanding people and the mind, so I majored in Anthropology. Those cultural studies classes overlapped with sexuality, queer theory, and feminist courses - and I was hooked. I picked up the Human Sexuality Minor and graduated on the Dean's list. I got straight A's across the board in my sex classes.
The world of sex coaching didn't really exist back then. So, my passion went on the back burner while I explored the world. I participated in and studied the sex cultures in many Asian countries while living and traveling abroad. Until I lived in China and saw an opportunity to research in Europe (yes, I know it's a complicated story.)
I signed up for a sexuality course in Amsterdam I had long had my eye on. I got ready for the course by taking additional sex classes online.
I went to Amsterdam and completed my sex course. Along the way I accidentally picked up the love of my life after a chance meeting. He encouraged me to sign up and follow my passions. Then I started studying at Sex Coach University with the famous Dr. Patti Britton. Meanwhile, I was introduced to an instructor who trained sexual health professionals in China. (yes, it was also in Chinese, which was a struggle.)
So I popped into Beijing several times to attend the Chinese Sexology Certification Training Center. I became the first foreigner to be certified by the Chinese government to teach sexuality in China. I think it's a pretty big deal.
And from there, it's all spiraled since COVID-19 happened. I was forced to never return to China, my laundry still hanging on the line, and I moved to Australia. This is where things really started to heat up. I kept taking classes and learning and finally started my coaching business in 2020. That's what's brought us together today.
So, in short, there isn't a how-to guide I can give you if you want to become a sex coach. All I can tell you is to follow your passion and your heart, and your path will show itself. No matter how calamitous it feels, every step serves a weird and wild purpose. So just get started. Trust your gut and be yourself.
Online sex coaching
Yes, I would love to have in-person sessions, but the world is rarely conducive for us to cross physical paths. That's why all of my sex coaching sessions are done online, so you get the help you need with the privacy you also want.
Working with me is a totally different experience from talking to your friends about sex.
You get real, practical, and helpful advice to solve your issues.
There's no "I read in this magazine…" no. Only facts, statistics, and clear light on the right choices exist.
And what is a sex coach if not a safe space for you to navigate and explore your sexual identity? I promise that if you're willing to work, your sex life will blow your mind.
Are you ready?
Let's do this.
“Sexual liberation is the root of all liberation.”
— J. Adam Snyder
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