Part 1 of Anal 101 - The Anatomy You Need to Know: Why anal feels good and how to make it feel better

how to have anal sex

No one wants to start anal sex with no idea of what to expect. Knowing your anal anatomy will help you prepare for training and penetration. It will also make your anal experience positive and pleasurable. I’m breaking down how to have anal sex into four key pieces. You'll become an anal expert overnight!

Part 1: Anal Anatomy (you’re here)

Part 2: Anal Cleanliness

Part 3: Anal Training

Part 4: Anal Penetration

Knowing anal anatomy is crucial for both preparation, expectations, and pleasure. 

From your anal opening, to your colon and your gender-specific pleasure-points, know where you’re aiming for.


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Anal anatomy

how to have anal sex

Many of you will try and skip this part and move straight to the anal training. The more you know, the more you’ll be able to enjoy it!

For many people, there is a lot of anxiety tied up in their sexual experience. Especially around anal pleasure. One thing that is unanimously helpful is knowing more about your body and what is happening.

Much like the pleasure you derive from your gentiles, your anal experience will vary based on what anatomy you have. 

Note: We’ll be using heteronormative terms since this is an article about cisgendered anatomy. We acknowledge that these are not the nouns or genders that everyone will agree with.


Unanimous anal anatomy

There are a few parts of anal anatomy that are the same regardless of gender. 

You experience anal pleasure because your anus and genitals are connected via your pudendal nerve.

The pudendal nerve wraps around your anus, all the way around your bladder and urethra. It shares pleasurable, painkilling sensations when it experiences sexual stimulation.

The sphincters and anal pleasure

Next, we have the sphincters. Yes, there is more than one sphincter. 

The external sphincter is the one you have conscious control over. You can open and close it as you please. 

how to have anal sex

The internal sphincter, however, you have no conscious control over. This sphincter is dominated by your autonomic nervous system. If you’re experiencing fear or anxiety, this body part is not going to be receptive to penetration. But, you can learn how to coax it to relax over time. 

The sphincters love sensation play, especially when they are stimulated by vibrations or with a tongue. If you’re worried about anal play, you can slowly introduce new sensations to your sphincters first. Training them that stimulation feels good can help you relax.

Into the Anus

Once you pass the threshold of the sphincters, you’ll enter the anal canal. This area is rather small and often contains a some amount of residual fecal matter. This is the area you’ll be primarily concerned with cleaning (read more in Part 2: Anal Cleanliness) 

Beyond the anal canal you’ll pass into the rectum. This is the larger area that is primarily concerned with in anal penetration.

While this is where fecal matter is passed through, it stays relatively clean. However, the downside of this area is that it is directly below your colon. Why is this a downside?

The colon

Beyond the anus you’ll find your colon. This is the area where fecal matter is stored until you’re ready to pass it. 

Your colon’s primary function is to remove water from your fecal matter. Meaning that if you’re using water-based lubricants, they’re going to be absorbed quickly. This is why silicone-based lubricants are a great choice for anal play.

Become a lube expert by reading this article.


Differentiated anal anatomy

As previously stated, your specific type of anal pleasure is going to vary based on your chromosomes. If you’re born XX (female) or XY (male) they you have different anal pleasure points. 


Women & the O-spot

how to have anal sex

Hopefully, you’ve heard about the G-spot. There are actually several other pleasure points that can bring you sexual pleasure. 

The pleasure point that is associated with women and anal stimulation is the O-spot.

The O-spot is found behind the cervix on the posterior (anal facing) wall. It is difficult to stimulate this area during vaginal penetration, since it is so far up. The only true way to stimulate the O-spot is to do so via anal penetration. 

You can read more about the O-spot here.


Men & the P-spot

Otherwise, known as the prostate. The prostate is homologous (twinsies) with the female G-spot. It is located about a finger’s length inside the male anus. 

If the male is laying down on his back, insert one finger and gently curve it towards the ceiling. You’ll be feeling around for something about the size and shape of half a walnut. Sometimes it is slightly bigger than that.

The prostate is what adds nutrients to ejaculate so that sperm can survive on their long journey to find the egg. It’s also what creates the milky substance that gives male ejaculate it’s signature color. 

By rubbing the prostate you can stimulate a unique kind of male orgasm.

Read all you could ever want to know about your prostate here


Tempting the penis owner’s taint

There’s also a way to indirectly stimulate the prostate if you're not ready to put a finger up there. 

The space between the testicles and the anal opening is called the perineum or the taint. Run the bulb of your finger from the back of the testicles towards the anus, you’ll be looking for a soft spot here. Once you’ve found it, you can gently, or slightly aggressively, apply pressure with a “come hither” or rubbing motion. This is a way to indirectly stimulate the prostate. 

Congratulations! You now know more than your friends about anal anatomy. Join me next time to learn how to successfully douche your butt!



“Pleasure is the only thing to live for. Nothing ages like happiness.”

— Oscar Wilde


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Part 2 of Anal 101: How to Douche - A step-by-step guide to anal douching

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